After sustaining a brain injury, life changes in more ways than you would think. Emotions may become harder to regulate, reactions may seem extreme, and behaviour may be out of character for the survivor. For many people navigating life after a brain injury, these emotional challenges can be some of the most difficult to cope with and learn about.
When Mark sustained his brain injury, we had to learn how to manage his recovery not only physically, but also emotionally… And there were many tough days! He’d go from calm to frustrated in the blink of an eye, often without any real, clear reason. Over time, we learned this was a side effect of the injury he had sustained, and what helped us more than anything was our mindset, which includes turning negative self-talk into positive language, understanding emotional triggers, and practicing small, daily tools that help take back control.
In this blog, we want to share how changing our mindset and using tools like journaling, breathing exercises, and language shifts helped us - and how it can help you too.
Understanding Emotions After Brain Injury
After a brain injury, it’s common to experience:
- Low mood or depression
- Anxiety or overwhelm
- Irritability or emotional outbursts
- Difficulty processing or expressing emotions
When the brain sustains a traumatic injury, the areas that control emotional regulation, impulse control, and self-reflection can be affected. This doesn’t mean the person is “choosing” to act out or feel down, it’s a biological response that they can’t control or change.
But here’s the good news! Your emotional resilience can heal with patience and understanding. One of the most effective ways to support that healing is by having a positive mindset.
The Power of Mindset: Language Shapes Emotion
Your thoughts shape your feelings, and your feelings shape your actions - it’s a cycle. After Mark’s injury, his internal monologue was a daily struggle.
Some examples of what I’d hear him say:
- “I’m useless now.”
- “I can’t control myself.”
- “I ruin everything.”
- “There’s no point trying.”
Hearing those words broke my heart – but it was a starting point on our journey to shifting his outlook from negative to positive.
We bullet pointed how we could swap those negative thoughts into positive ones. Here’s what we came up with:
Negative Self-Talk vs Positive Thinking:
“I’m useless now.” vs “I’m learning to adapt in a new way.”
“I can’t control myself.” vs “I’m working on understanding my reactions.”
“I ruin everything.” vs “Things are hard, but I’m not a failure.”
“There’s no point trying.” vs “Small steps add up and today is a new day.”
These small shifts in language began to change how Mark (and I) felt. Instead of feeling shame and anger, he could pause, breathe, and choose a different response.
How Journaling Helps
One of the most transformative things we did was start a trigger journal. Each time Mark had a sudden mood change, we documented what happened before, during, and after, along with where we were and what we were doing.
Over time, patterns began to emerge, and we were able to pinpoint certain things that affected his mood and behaviour most, and find ways to help.
Some triggers you may notice:
- Loud environments can be overwhelming
- Skipped meals or poor sleep can affect mood and irritability
- Certain tasks (like multi-step instructions) can cause intense frustration
Try this journaling prompt to start:
- What was happening right before I felt upset?
- What did I feel in my body?
- What was I telling myself in that moment?
- What helped me feel better?
Breathing Techniques: Regulating the Nervous System
When emotions start to take over, the nervous system kicks into fight-or-flight mode. For someone who has sustained a brain injury, this can happen more easily and feel more intense.
Taking 60 seconds to focus on your breath can interrupt the emotional spike and calm your body back down.
Here’s a technique we still use every day:
Box Breathing (4-4-4-4):
- Inhale for 4 seconds
- Hold for 4 seconds
- Exhale for 4 seconds
- Hold for 4 seconds
- Repeat for 1–2 minutes
Even a single round helps bring oxygen to the brain and signals safety to the body. It’s a way of telling the brain “I’m okay. I’m safe. I can respond instead of react”.
Shifting the Mindset with Positive Language
We can’t stress this enough: the words you say to yourself matter. After his injury, Mark would get caught in negative loops, but when we started using intentional affirmations, something shifted.
We wrote them on sticky notes, spoke them aloud together, and wrote them in our journal.
Some of our favourites are:
- “I’m more than my struggles.”
- “Healing is not linear, and I’m allowed to have bad days.”
- “I’m showing up for myself today.”
- “Progress, not perfection.”
This practice retrains brain. Instead of spiralling into negative thoughts, you can learn to pause and shift perspective.
Working Through Triggers
It took time (and lots of trial and error), but we’ve reached a place where Mark and I can often sense when a trigger is coming. We talk about it, make a plan, and remind ourselves: it’s not his fault and we’re on the same team.
Instead of reacting with frustration, we open the floor to questions, so we can understand what is going on better.
You could ask questions like:
- What’s this moment teaching us?
- What’s the hidden message in this emotion?
- Did you sleep okay?
- Did something that was said feel overwhelming?
- Can we take a 5-minute breathing break?
More often than not, you can find a root cause when you look at it like this, and you are therefore able to understand why the emotion or behaviour has become apparent. When you understand it, you can accept it – and that makes the world of difference to your mindset.
Take the Next Step: Tools to Help You on the Journey
If you’re navigating recovery from a brain injury or supporting someone who is, you don’t have to figure it all out alone.
We’ve created two resources that helped us and may help you:
Our “How to Bullet Journal”:
This guide walks you through how to set up a simple system to track moods, document triggers, and celebrate wins, no matter how small.
You can pick up a copy using the link below:
https://www.amazon.co.uk/Create-Bullet-Journal-BuJo-short/dp/B09MDJCPG9
Free Self-Care Tracker:
Healing includes rest, nourishment, joy, and self-kindness, so we designed a free printable self-care tracker. It helps you keep track of sleep, hydration, breathing exercises, journaling, and more.
Download it for free here:
https://brainorshine.com/b/self-care-tracker
Final Thoughts
Recovery is not linear. Some days you’ll feel strong and grounded, others, not so much. But mindset matters, and when you start talking to yourself with compassion, documenting your triggers, and using breath to regulate your emotions - you take back power.
Mark’s journey hasn’t been easy, but it has been full of growth. We’ve learned that mindset is like a muscle: the more you work it, the stronger it gets. And with the right tools, a little patience, and a lot of love, you can feel like yourself again (maybe even a stronger version)!